Maybe It's Not You
When you’re in pain it’s easy to think something is wrong with you.
To feel like there is something broken inside.
To wonder if something internal is malfunctioning because you cannot do all of the things required of you and manage to be happy at the same time.
Your brain quickly fills up any free mental space with all of the ways to fix the problem:
Maybe you need to get up earlier so you have more time for a positive morning routine.
Maybe you need to practice gratefulness more.
Maybe you should exercise more.
Maybe you should find a group to join.
Maybe you need to get more organized.
I’d like to interrupt that endless cycle of rumination with some new thoughts:
Maybe nothing is wrong with you.
Maybe it feels hard BECAUSE IT IS HARD.
Maybe you are exhausted because what you are experiencing IS EXHAUSTING.
Maybe you are sad, depleted, and deeply unsure about life because what you are experiencing is life-altering and mentally, emotionally, and physically challenging.
Our feelings are important messengers.
They point to our deeper needs. Like needs for support, rest, connection, understanding, and play.
Our feelings signal to us when our needs are being met (like when we feel joyful after a meaningful, deep conversation) and when they are not (like when we’re frustrated because someone did not understand us in an important conversation).
Sometimes the circumstances in our lives do not allow our needs to be met. Sometimes there isn’t space for rest or recuperation. Sometimes we do not have the connection and support we deeply desire.
In those periods, painful emotions of sadness, exhaustion, pain, and anger arise.
It does not mean you are broken. In fact, it means you are a healthy functioning human. It means your spirit is in tune with your needs. It means your signaling system - your feelings - are on point and working.
When we recognize that, we can stop blaming and shaming ourselves. We can see how the external environment is impacting us and we can make real choices that get to the root - instead of trying to fix something that was never broken in the first place.
About the Author:
Jackie Schuld is an Art Therapist (ATR) whose private practice is devoted to women who experience overwhelming thoughts and emotions. She is an autistic individual who is endlessly and delightfully creating art, essays, books, and herself. You can see and read more at www.jackieschuld.com.