Posts tagged Dover NH
Challenge the Status Quo

I recently caught myself zig-zaging. I was avoiding sitting down to complete some work and found myself outside power-washing the house. Now even though I fully admit in the zig-zagging, this task of power washing the house has been on my to-do list for the past two years and left me feeling refreshed. It reminded me not to always believe what I think. It reminded me to question my norms.

While out there I realized that I have been accepting a moldy house for almost two years. I had build a pile of excuses that kept me from completing the task. I told myself reasons why I was ok with a moldy house. I let myself believe my excuses. I let the tape in my head run so that I had no way out. I allowed the status quo to go on because admittedly it is easier that way. Change is messy.

Your body and mind want to continue with the status quo because it takes less energy. Habits and patterns are your way to simplify your life. Think of your morning routine or your weekly grocery list, by keeping these the same you are limiting the amount of energy you use in a day. Now think of a time you learned a new skill or started a new job. You were exhausted by the end of the day.

Why? Learning new skills is mentally and emotionally taxing and that playing into our physical exhaustion levels.

It makes sense why we continue to live in the status quo. Change is messy and takes energy.

When we choose to change and when we lay down our excuses we start to see that we are the ones standing in our way. There are situations when staying with the status quo is accepting things that get under our skin and drain us. These situations could be keeping you from the job you desire, the relationship you seek or it could be keeping you living in a moldy house.

I know that standing where you are looking at where you want to be can feel daunting. Sometimes it feels as if all we ever do is change. Here is the thing: we never know what is on the other side of our old habits and “When there’s a big disappointment, we don’t know if that’s the end of the story. It may be just the beginning of a great adventure.” (― Pema Chödrön, )

Go seek adventure. Get messy. Find Bliss.

Mental Health Awareness Month

May is here! Spring is starting to show its bloom here in New England. Amidst the raindrops there is the sparkle of flowers, the bees are buzzing around and the hope of sunshine. May brings us hope.  May also brings us #Mentalhealthawareness Month. For the past 70 years Mental Health America (MHA) has used the month of May to help combat stigma around mental health.  This year they are shedding some much need light on how taking care of our mental health can directly impact our physical health.  #4mind4body

Mental Health Awareness is important because we all have mental health. EVERYONE. The person you follow on instagram with the perfectly organized kitchen cabinet, the women in your AM workout class, the clerk at the store, the man on the street, the woman asking for change to feed her children. Everyone.

You do not get to opt out of mental health. You may naturally take care of your needs and you may spend 99% of your time in a state of mental wellness and you still have mental health.

Some people struggle with staying mentally well and some people think they are mentally unwell because they have never felt a certain feeling before or the stage of life they are going through is hardly ever talked about in an open and supportive way. The line can be thin.

Everyday what you do or do not do affects your mental health. Slowing down to enjoy a cup of tea vs eating while standing and packing lunches is going to create two different outcomes on your mental health. Neither outcome may be “good” or “bad”, it is the outcome that  matters. Your mental health will change with you as you grow.

Your mental health isn’t going anywhere. You know that saying “wherever you go there you are”? That is your mental health my friend. Always there, even when we do not realize it. So this May choose to speak up. Say that thing you just can’t seem to shake. I bet you find out you are not so alone in your thoughts. OR maybe your friends and family will be thankful that you spoke first. Be the first. Talk to a friend. Outreach a therapist. Make friends with your mental health. Find the hope in May.

The Zig-Zag Dance

Repotting plants has always given me small bursts of anxiety. The idea of taking a plant out of its home and giving it a new home makes me worried. I do all the things the books say I should do: I trust the plant will take care of itself. I mentally give the plant sometime to adjust and I do my best to encourage the plant to let it know that there is more room. I want the plant to take up more space and yet I worry.

This worry keeps me from repotting my plants when they are ready to change pots. The worry turns into zig-zagging. I zig over here and clean the oven. I zag over here and reorganize tupperware. When really my attention should be on this plant that is ready for the next step.  Zig, zig, zag, zag… sometimes I do this for weeks. Ignoring what I already know to be true, letting the plant sit there...waiting for me to be honest with myself.

I zig and zag because repotting plants is messy. No matter how hard I try the dirt goes places I didn’t expect. Even when I gear up and put on gloves I am left with tiny dirt specks under my nails and on my arms. Dirt scars. Change scars.

Sometimes in the middle of changing pots, I get the roots of the plants so twisted that I fear I took away the plants survival plan. Plants need to be rooted and then that fear comes back; I think “why did I even start this process”.  

When I allow myself to take action the whole repotting process only takes a matter of minutes. Even though while I am doing the actions it feels like years. And then as I clean up and look at the happy plant in its new home. I think “why didn’t I start this sooner- that was easy”.

More often than not the fear of change is bigger and scarier than the actual process of changing.  Anticipatory anxiety occurs when we are worried about a future event. This worry and fear can feel so intense that we become paralyzed and become stuck in inaction. So instead we zig, we zag and we go weeks without repotting our plants. We do not look at our own truth. We ignore that small but might call to “do the thing”, make the change, or just be honest with what we already know to be true. When we start to trust our own repotting process the anxiety will start to go away. When we allow change to take the time it will take, the moments will fly by even when the change has taken years. Small actionable steps will take you to from here to there. No zig zag dance required.