Have you ever found that sometimes the hardest thing to do is to start a task? Or do you find that when you get into a project you find that the project takes you longer than expected and this leaves you feeling as if you never have enough time?  Each day we are creeping closer to the time of the year where us modern-day humans are equally jolly and always feeling as if we never have enough time. 

It is the creeping in low-grade holiday anxiety you have been dreading. The quiet voice and slowly entering  “do-it-all” thoughts that have found their way back to you. The struggle is real and you are not alone. 

As the holiday season approaches it can be helpful to consider using some time management tools to keep your expectations in check and you on time. We often overestimate the time it will take to complete a given task, this is known as the planning fallacy, to manage this try adding half the time in which you think the task will take you to the amount of time you are planning. If you are planning to spend an hour writing a blog post, next time plan an hour an half. This will not only account for any unpredictables, it accounts for the time it takes to start and end an activity. It leaves room for the transitions. 

Transitions are something we all go through though do not give enough air time for. We see where we are starting and we see where we want to go and the middle can be messy. These smaller transitions that occur every day from home to work, work to lunch, tasks to task. You might be switching from new mom tasks to being a manager task and all of these transitions require your brain to switch mentally, our focus needs to change and our fine motor skills are being used differently. It is ok to allow time for this to happen, some days you will need more time than others. So as you approach this holiday season try using one intentional breath when you are dashing from here to there. 

Currently, I have a list of 34 books on my “to-read list”. I think about this list often. In some ways, this lists haunts me. There is a version of myself in my mind that reads books nightly. And if you ask me, I tell you I am an avid reader. Which is true when comes to reading for research that I want to share with clients and actually not true when I hold on to the idealized version of a person who reads nightly before bed.

Some nights I achieve this version, this idealized avid book reader. I read in bed till I fall asleep and those days I give myself an extra pat on the back. My expectations actually met my reality.

It was not until recently when a friend said something to the effect of “It’s not like you have the time to read right now”. At that moment I wanted to bark back “What do you mean- of course, I can read”. She had unknowingly shed light on a version and expectation I hold myself too and felt exposed. Instead, I laughed and let her words sink in over the next few days.

An innocent comment that I could not shake. “Not enough time? What does that mean! Of course, there is time, there is always time”.

Let me stop myself right there and you too, you kick ass human agreeing with my high expectations.

There is not always enough time.

There is not always enough hours in the day.

You and I are NOT being “lazy” for not reading or following through on certain tasks when life around us is moving at a force so fast that there are days we all forget to breathe.

In fact, maybe the actual truth is that my expectations are not based on my current reality. Maybe you feel me here. I am not saying I will never be an avid night time book reading fool and I know that is not the season I am currently in right now. This mental shift is a way to give me space and grace. I urge you to try it. If you want help- I’m here.

Repotting plants has always given me small bursts of anxiety. The idea of taking a plant out of its home and giving it a new home makes me worried. I do all the things the books say I should do: I trust the plant will take care of itself. I mentally give the plant sometime to adjust and I do my best to encourage the plant to let it know that there is more room. I want the plant to take up more space and yet I worry.

This worry keeps me from repotting my plants when they are ready to change pots. The worry turns into zig-zagging. I zig over here and clean the oven. I zag over here and reorganize tupperware. When really my attention should be on this plant that is ready for the next step.  Zig, zig, zag, zag… sometimes I do this for weeks. Ignoring what I already know to be true, letting the plant sit there...waiting for me to be honest with myself.

I zig and zag because repotting plants is messy. No matter how hard I try the dirt goes places I didn’t expect. Even when I gear up and put on gloves I am left with tiny dirt specks under my nails and on my arms. Dirt scars. Change scars.

Sometimes in the middle of changing pots, I get the roots of the plants so twisted that I fear I took away the plants survival plan. Plants need to be rooted and then that fear comes back; I think “why did I even start this process”.  

When I allow myself to take action the whole repotting process only takes a matter of minutes. Even though while I am doing the actions it feels like years. And then as I clean up and look at the happy plant in its new home. I think “why didn’t I start this sooner- that was easy”.

More often than not the fear of change is bigger and scarier than the actual process of changing.  Anticipatory anxiety occurs when we are worried about a future event. This worry and fear can feel so intense that we become paralyzed and become stuck in inaction. So instead we zig, we zag and we go weeks without repotting our plants. We do not look at our own truth. We ignore that small but might call to “do the thing”, make the change, or just be honest with what we already know to be true. When we start to trust our own repotting process the anxiety will start to go away. When we allow change to take the time it will take, the moments will fly by even when the change has taken years. Small actionable steps will take you to from here to there. No zig zag dance required.