When you never have enough time in your day...

Have you ever found that sometimes the hardest thing to do is to start a task? Or do you find that when you get into a project you find that the project takes you longer than expected and this leaves you feeling as if you never have enough time?  Each day we are creeping closer to the time of the year where us modern-day humans are equally jolly and always feeling as if we never have enough time. 

It is the creeping in low-grade holiday anxiety you have been dreading. The quiet voice and slowly entering  “do-it-all” thoughts that have found their way back to you. The struggle is real and you are not alone. 

As the holiday season approaches it can be helpful to consider using some time management tools to keep your expectations in check and you on time. We often overestimate the time it will take to complete a given task, this is known as the planning fallacy, to manage this try adding half the time in which you think the task will take you to the amount of time you are planning. If you are planning to spend an hour writing a blog post, next time plan an hour an half. This will not only account for any unpredictables, it accounts for the time it takes to start and end an activity. It leaves room for the transitions. 

Transitions are something we all go through though do not give enough air time for. We see where we are starting and we see where we want to go and the middle can be messy. These smaller transitions that occur every day from home to work, work to lunch, tasks to task. You might be switching from new mom tasks to being a manager task and all of these transitions require your brain to switch mentally, our focus needs to change and our fine motor skills are being used differently. It is ok to allow time for this to happen, some days you will need more time than others. So as you approach this holiday season try using one intentional breath when you are dashing from here to there. 

ChangeMary SankerAnxiety
What if we saw this differently?

Currently, I have a list of 34 books on my “to-read list”. I think about this list often. In some ways, this lists haunts me. There is a version of myself in my mind that reads books nightly. And if you ask me, I tell you I am an avid reader. Which is true when comes to reading for research that I want to share with clients and actually not true when I hold on to the idealized version of a person who reads nightly before bed.

Some nights I achieve this version, this idealized avid book reader. I read in bed till I fall asleep and those days I give myself an extra pat on the back. My expectations actually met my reality.

It was not until recently when a friend said something to the effect of “It’s not like you have the time to read right now”. At that moment I wanted to bark back “What do you mean- of course, I can read”. She had unknowingly shed light on a version and expectation I hold myself too and felt exposed. Instead, I laughed and let her words sink in over the next few days.

An innocent comment that I could not shake. “Not enough time? What does that mean! Of course, there is time, there is always time”.

Let me stop myself right there and you too, you kick ass human agreeing with my high expectations.

There is not always enough time.

There is not always enough hours in the day.

You and I are NOT being “lazy” for not reading or following through on certain tasks when life around us is moving at a force so fast that there are days we all forget to breathe.

In fact, maybe the actual truth is that my expectations are not based on my current reality. Maybe you feel me here. I am not saying I will never be an avid night time book reading fool and I know that is not the season I am currently in right now. This mental shift is a way to give me space and grace. I urge you to try it. If you want help- I’m here.

What is in a logo?
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This summer I paired up with my favorite local artist and asked her to create a logo for Be.

When I talk to people about why the name Be: I explain how I wanted to shed the layers of “should”, “have to”, “better do” and create a space where a person can return home to themselves. A place where they can Be. and where they can decide what if anything follows after that Be.

I also wanted that logo to represent my company values and stand as a visual reminder of why I choose to show up in this way for my clients day in and day out. I believe in growth, openness, independence and a sense of community. I believe this is created by showing up for each other and letting yourself still believe in life’s seemingly magical moments.

It is a lot to ask for a logo and I knew that Sarah Fenerty was the woman for the job. The soft lines of the heron extending into flowers of new growth captures these values and the space I am working to create for all of you.

A heron represents independence and is known to be an alluring bird that can flourish in a crowd. When you look up the symbolic meaning behind a heron you find words like” Calm, grace, patience and being present”- yes! These are all things I hope to bring to my clients through our work together. These are essential to growth.

The flowers in the logo show growth ad one’s ability to make something new, to lean into the magic of life.

It was a lot to ask for in a logo and a great reminder that until we ask the answer aways remains no. Yet by reaching out and taking a chance Sarah Fenerty created a logo that had all the parts I wanted to convey and I got to further support an amazing local artist. Sometimes, life can be a win-win- see….magic.

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Mary Sanker
Meeting yourself where you are...

In my personal life I have a short list of friends that I still talk on the phone too. I love those calls. The calls and the people ground me. These talks are special because it is rare to find someone who will carve out time in their day to talk to you. These calls remind me of parts of myself that I have stated that I wanted to grow but often find ways to ignore. These calls are with the people who have never been afraid to tell me when I have gone too far or ask me the hard questions while listening to my overly detailed answers.

Over the past week I have had two of these phone calls that both reminded that my goal of 2019 was to start to “un-do” and continue to work towards slowing down and being present. Even at this moment I have cupcakes in the oven, sweet potato hash on the rack below and am writing this blog post all before 7am. Some of us run on high. Some of us will always have six different projects going. I thrive with those people- I am that person.

I also know that we all need to meet ourselves where we are at and where we are at is an ever moving target. 2019 has been a year of celebration and growth so far outside of my comfort zone that there are moments where I forget to breathe. I know I am not alone in this. This year has brought so much change to a lot of people. If that is you I invite you to join me in giving yourself permission to simply be where you are right now. Take a cue from Brene Brown and actually write yourself a permission slip on a piece of paper.

My permission slip will say that I can spend the next two weeks on vacation and return to blogging when I am ready. It will be a remind to let myself be human and stop needing to be super human. That sometimes the not-doing of things actually brings us the greatest reward.

I invite you to give yourself permission to leave things a bit un-done, to leave parts of your life open. If history and research stand true I wager that you will find magic in the letting go. When we stop holding on so tightly to things around us we will find the space and grace we so desire.

Mary Sanker